Society, Toilets and One Old Story

Romeo and Juliet. The greatest love story ever told? I guess for some. I don’t really believe it too much. I personally would never kill myself for someone that I supposedly “loved that much”. Seriously, I love myself a lot more than that. Drink poisons … uh NO. Stab myself … uh NO. When Romeo saw Juliet dead, something inside his pussy ass brain should've said, "Well ... that is that. For I will now open the greatest book of all time and read some passages from it. For it is my booty call book and I will get me some booty since this one has decided to keep her booty for herself and not share." Then my man gets on his cell phone and calls up another maiden who needs some Romeo in her life. How about moving this movie to 2008? I would see a dramatic increase in people reading this version as well as, and more importantly, people relating to it. So instead of Romeo and Juliet killing each other, they live. The families stop fighting and say “Yes, you two jackasses want to marry each other? Be our guest” and so they do. What happens next for the young, innocent and really stupid lovebirds? Well, Romeo get a job and Juliet drops a few loads (kids). Now the real world problems start: mortgage, school for the little pukes, food, money, entertainment, not getting on each others nerves, working, trying to not sound like a jackass whilst speaking proper English everywhere they go, feeding the kids (loads), transportation, rent money, etc...

Now begins the slow descent into a stale, boring ass suburban life like everyone else. After a few years of infidelity and fighting (Romeo and Juliet got sick of each other and needed some action) they finally divorce, just like everybody else. Now we have something to work with ... and a possible sequel: “Romeo vs. Juliet”.

If the story were told that way, and updated to now, I think that people can appreciate and relate to the new story. In the sequel the quarreling of the families resume and I’m sure somehow, we can bring some of the Sopranos and Godfather characters and actors into this, making it a melange of a gangster crime and love story like all the others that have all said the same thing.

... So how do toilets fit into this?

First, this is strictly a toilet read. I'm sure you have better things to do than to read Romeo and Juliet.

Second, the word TOILET caught your attention and you read my rant. See? I got you. Go me.