They, We and You

When "THEY" are neck deep in shit, its always "WE" ...

But when they have the opportunity to pass the blame it always "YOU".

A Phrase and a Finger.

There's one phrase that can make anyone feel awkward and self conscious and can be added to anything you say - beginning, middle or end.

• Bob, if you get some time, please look at these reports and Bob ... get your finger out of there.

• Valentino, the cologne is on the top shelf ... get your finger out of there and close the door please.
  

• Vicky. Get your finger out of there and come help grandma put her teeth in. Thankyouverymuch.
  

Plane Wrecks and the Black Boxes

You never see them coming, but sometimes you can hear them if you have an ear for jet engines that are about to fail. Next thing you know, you're in the middle of a shit storm including fire, people screaming, burnt plastic, sirens, lights, medical equipment, defibulators, more bodies flying, broken glass, dogs barking, records scratching and cats hissing, shaved chickens and yaks shaving ... and you didn't even know how it happened, none the less want to be there. Yet somehow, this is all your fault.

What am I talking about? Miscommunication when talking to women. By all men's standards, and I speak only for myself; Women are impossible to figure out, therefore we, (men) just label them as crazy. My friend compared how women are like black boxes. I agree. So let me ask you the reader:

Question: What do you do with a black box (that might or might not be ticking)?
Answer: You call the bomb squad.


Don't go near it. Especially if you hear the ticking - the ticking of a biological time bomb. Stay very far away or you will wind up in a twisted carnage mess like the one described above with no clue how the plane crashed into the mountain or why and no way of escaping unharmed. That is why they are called black boxes. Leave them alone and forget that you ever saw them.

In the time, before time (a real long time ago), let's say:

A monolith in the shape of black box descended down onto the earth and the poor primates or whatever we like to think was inhabiting the earth, who by the way, were happy being primates, making dumb jokes, burping and scratching their butts, got to close (due to curiosity or perhaps, the call of the siren
(the beeping of the black box) and just like the movie "2001: A Space Odyssey" the black box gave them insight. Insight on how to be murderous, over analytical, evil and worst of all, calculating. Then Republicans were born from this and the world has never been the same since.


Why did this come up you ask? Well, sometimes I like to jump around and pen about how I see certain things, specifically the fermented to the point of rotten idea, that relationships are a good thing. I don't see it that way, most of what I see is telling me the opposite. If I say anything, it is that relationships are too much work (and I mean too much) and someone always loses.

Relationships: Planes that crashed into the mountain, usually caused by one of those damn black boxes, but always blamed on the crew due to pilot error.